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Home Ecards

Apology Ecard with text: i wouldn't have eaten your goldfish if i'd known you would get all boring and serious about it. But you should leave more food around the house.

eaten your goldfish

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Apology

Birthday Ecard with text: i wanted to buy you an expensive gift but then we would have been manipulated by consumerism (and this wrongcard was free).

expensive gift

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Birthday

Zombie Ecard with text: zombies have been spotted! this is a test of our zombie emergency messaging system. thank you for participating in this drill.

zombies spotted

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Zombie

Birthday Ecard with text: you don't want a paper card with pictures of puppies and balloons on your birthday. you want a wrongcard with a picture of a dead clown. happy birthday.

a paper card

You probably all thought I was dead. Can you not be so morbid? Anyway, unrelated but if any of you are suffering a life-threatening illness, can you PLEASE not leave your body to science and leave it to me? We're four weeks out from Halloween and I haven't got my authentic porch ornaments sorted. If the folks next door want to make 'Halloween decorations' a competition, then fine. Bring it Karen.

Birthday

Thinking of You Ecard with text: jesus doesn't like you. Guess who is going to hell? here is a hint - it's not me.

jesus doesn't like you

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Thinking of You

Anniversaries Ecard with text: our anniversary may be a day of deep personal regret for our families, but I'm having a blast!

profound regret

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Anniversaries

Mother's Day Ecard with text: i'm too old to be breast-fed, ma!

too old to be breast-fed

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Mother's Day

Love Ecard with text: yeah yeah yeah emotions and feelings and whatever blah blah blah but when do we get to the shagging?

yeah yeah yeah

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Love

Inspirational Ecard with text: god grant us the strength to punish the self-righteous

grant us strength

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Inspirational

Mother's Day Ecard with text: happy mother's day, ma - as always i promise to reform and be good from now on. ha - so not gonna happen.

i promise to reform

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Mother's Day