Categories
Concerned Ecards
minds wander
There are cards for you, and there are cards for me ... and today's card is for me. I don't really want to talk about it
fevered brows
It hurts me to imagine that someone is out there at this very moment apologetically saying, 'I am sorry, I have no excuse....' I spend my life thinking up excuses, so take it from me - [sorry, the rest of this thought was written down by me and then eaten by ducks. WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?]
label nazi
Back when I was poor and unnourished, I lived with a guy who used to drink my milk while I slept. As a comparative ratio, based on my assets at the time, this equated roughly to stealing my car. But I never put a note on anything in the fridge. Even to me, who once suffered, a note on milk is an instruction to steal.
fire safety
Today's wrongcard offers a workplace survival tip. BTW if you are ever subjected to a Human Resources meeting about fire safety awareness you should interrupt occasionally with remarks like: 'But you have to admit that fire is incredibly beautiful' and 'But you'll agree nothing purifies quite like fire.' It helps pass the time.
sincerest trust
Today's card is a sympathy card which means you can send it to people who say they know someone who has recently died. Sometimes I suspect people make up stories like that for attention or to evade responsibilities. If you harbor doubts about someone, send along today's card and study them carefully to see if they look guilty.
cold dark void
You can use today's card to extricate yourself from an invitation to a party so that you can do more important things, like space out on the internet or micromanage your Japanese fugu smuggling operation. This card is just so amazingly reasonable - what could possibly go wrong?
sincerest hopes
You know how you can care for a person but they still occasionally leave your side to travel, for work or vacation or some other stupid, self-centered reason? I made this card for people like that. They may not deserve us sending them cards but we should try to show them that we can rise above their general lack of consideration.
good about being wrong
Whenever I apologize for something I focus on getting the details right. If you get the details wrong then it might sound insincere or as though you are thinking about something else. Sometimes I can't remember the details so I like to keep apologies very general and vague. Today's card, for example.
unintentionally
Over my Christmas vacation (which is ending, by the way, roughly now-ish) I thought about becoming a better person. Less difficult, more civilized and all that nonsense. But ultimately I decided it probably wasn't worth the effort and that self-improvement is really about Better Excuses and Alibis. Here is the first Wrongcard for 2011.
norwegian model excuse
So someone has invited you to a party: the hooks are in, the obligation to attend is fierce, but the thought of it all fills you with a nameless dread. Maybe it's because your friend's friends are lunatics. Or maybe it's because YOU are a lunatic. Doesn't matter. You can stop fretting and just send along this card. Life was meant to be this easy.