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Home Ecards
why we drink
It makes me sad that many people don't take St Patrick's Day seriously. Some will prance about in fatuous green socks, mention some highly unlikely Irish ancestor and then consider their obligations to the thing met. Not me. I'm a messenger. From God, probably. And if I don't explain this holiday then millions will be spending Saturday drunk for no reason at all. So here we go ...
pretending to be irish
It's re-hash Wednesday and St Patrick's Day is nigh, meaning that fifth-generation Americans will suddenly announce they've been Irish all this time and go out to Samuel Becket readings or stay in to argue passionately about which among Joyce, Heaney and Yeats provided the world with the most literary description of the potato. See? That was one sentence. It's called brevity, Joyce.
pleasant associations
Alright now. Spring seems to be unfurling languidly across the North-East, beckoning thoughts of all things new. Bleating lambs, chirpy birds and such. Tottering toddlers with sticky-jam hands. You know what I'm saying. Babies. Speaking of which, here's a Baby Card to look at it. Sharing it on people's walls? Wouldn't do it myself but then, I'm a serious individual ...
infested
It's a Friday, and there are all sorts of dreary social obligations standing between you and a good book. That's where our Excuses Cards can come in handy. By the way, I'm not suggesting that I definitely believe in werewolves. Besides, whenever I suspect that someone is a werewolf I keep it to myself. The last thing we need is a panic.
anger management
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day listening to Rush Limbaugh. Not really. No I don't do that. It's not often that Wrongcards goes too far and posts something that tasteless on the internet but it happened right there a second ago and I'm sorry. It's a good thing Mother doesn't know about Wrongcards.
shouty man
The American election process lasts about three years out of every four and costs roughly four bazillion dollars. Last time there was an election the Nobel Prize committee was so terrified of one of the candidates they gave away a peace prize to the other guy just for beating him. I've looked at your candidates and if you want my advice I think you should all learn how to grow your own food.
sibling rivalry
Like most people I had parents. They ran a complex experiment on me called 'raising a child without reading a book or consulting anybody who has done it before'. But they must have done something right because God says he prefers me to just about everybody else in the world. In fact I could become a prophet but I suffer from a phobia of beards. Today's card is about families.
nobody thinks
This surprises people but I've never actually lost an argument. People say it's because I'm delusional but people get all sorts of fanciful ideas in their heads. (I've also never lost a game of monopoly because ghosts knock the board off the table whenever I'm losing). Whatever. It doesn't matter. The point is that today's card is here.
mauled by grizzly bears
On Wednesdays I typically post an older card that you might not have seen, and then I spend the afternoon writing letters to the International Olympic Committee demanding they introduce Competitive Humming into the London Olympics. It won't work, but at least the person who opens their mail will have a really weird day.
secret of success
We have an entire category of Inspirational Ecards, though it's a sadly neglected place lately because, well, if I was to write a self-help book it would probably be called 'Everybody Should Work It Out For Themselves' and Chapter III would be titled 'Choosing Randomly'. BTW today's card is an inspirational ecard, so shush.