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Home Ecards
industrialist fat cats
I'd protest this holiday. And on the burning barricades I'd chant at police and hurl Molotovs. And then? I'd fall beneath the bejeweled jackboots of St. Valentines Day thugs, wielding their guilt trips and demanding their chocolate boxes and heart-shaped cards. So if anyone needs me I'll be at the florists. Muttering to myself.
fire safety
Today's wrongcard offers a workplace survival tip. BTW if you are ever subjected to a Human Resources meeting about fire safety awareness you should interrupt occasionally with remarks like: 'But you have to admit that fire is incredibly beautiful' and 'But you'll agree nothing purifies quite like fire.' It helps pass the time.
sincerest trust
Today's card is a sympathy card which means you can send it to people who say they know someone who has recently died. Sometimes I suspect people make up stories like that for attention or to evade responsibilities. If you harbor doubts about someone, send along today's card and study them carefully to see if they look guilty.
cold dark void
You can use today's card to extricate yourself from an invitation to a party so that you can do more important things, like space out on the internet or micromanage your Japanese fugu smuggling operation. This card is just so amazingly reasonable - what could possibly go wrong?
codependency
I've given it a lot of thought and decided that today's wrongcard is an awesome card to send to a stranger. Pick someone random, someone you barely know, and ask yourself: why SHOULDN'T that person have a really weird Friday? No need to thank me - this is what I do for a living.
sincerest hopes
You know how you can care for a person but they still occasionally leave your side to travel, for work or vacation or some other stupid, self-centered reason? I made this card for people like that. They may not deserve us sending them cards but we should try to show them that we can rise above their general lack of consideration.
good about being wrong
Whenever I apologize for something I focus on getting the details right. If you get the details wrong then it might sound insincere or as though you are thinking about something else. Sometimes I can't remember the details so I like to keep apologies very general and vague. Today's card, for example.
unintentionally
Over my Christmas vacation (which is ending, by the way, roughly now-ish) I thought about becoming a better person. Less difficult, more civilized and all that nonsense. But ultimately I decided it probably wasn't worth the effort and that self-improvement is really about Better Excuses and Alibis. Here is the first Wrongcard for 2011.
christmas sneaking
Whenever I create a potentially useful Wrongcard part of my soul dies. It never happens intentionally I swear.
zombies are bitey
There isn't a man alive who hasn't given serious thought to how he'd secure himself and his family In The Event of Zombies. We already know the best escape-routes, choke-points and where to build the barricades. Hunter-gatherer milieu? Yes please - then we can be awesome again! Well anyway, I never said we were sane.