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Home Ecards
pyramid incident
On Wednesdays I prefer to post an older, more obscure card and then get to work on my bible. I'm writing a new bible, see, but with Cylons, because I like Cylons and was disappointed when there weren't any in the original. I haven't read the Jewish bible but I've seen the movie and liked it, despite them setting the narrative in an historic setting.
co-branding
Today is Good Friday. That's a public holiday in a lot of the world but not in the U.S., because the earliest colonists here were protestants and they got to set all the rules. When we're kicking off space exploration don't let protestants onto the space ships or there'll be no weekends on Mars. Today's card makes commercial use of religious imagery. In other words: Happy Easter!
easter lesson
I've been meaning to become religious for a while now. I think I'd be really good at it. Everyone would be DAMN he's good at being religious, and I'd be like I KNOW RIGHT. I'd be better at being religious than Jesus, who, let's face it, kept a back-up career just in case (carpentry). My favorite quote by Jesus? 'Live by the carpentry, die by the carpentry.' See? Good at being religious.
psycho easter bunny
Easter? Just a conspiracy perpetrated by a cartel of chocolate manufacturers, right? I mean, we don't own it - some pointy-hatted pontiff does. Sure we can take it back .. from the clergy, the factory-owners, the companies that market diabetes drugs. You see, anyone can change the world, provided they believe. And have billions of dollars and play tennis with Rupert Murdoch.
it is a sign
I was raised in a trailer by my grandma, a wonderful, wise old bird who sold cat pelts to tourists to fund her collection of human teeth. When she wasn't passed out drunk on kerosene, she was doing everything humanly possible to provide me with a normal childhood, including carefully negotiated contracts with witch doctors. This card is for those who weren't as lucky as me.
everyone should dream
On Wednesdays I always post an older card and then I spend the rest of the day giving up tea. I quaff my ninth and final cup at ten in the morning (the following three are for nostalgic purposes only). Around mid-afternoon I invariably down another final cup to fortify my resolve to quit. I'm only human; the last thing I want is for you to think I'm an addict when I'm merely an inspirational figure.
never feel troubled
Today's card is a Cheer Up card, which can be sent to people who are being depressing. Typically that means they have some sort of problem or a bad thing has happened. My point? When someone's life stops being about blue skies, short skirts and ice cream, we send this card. I know, right? Where were you guys before you found me?
fifty fifty
The behavioral nuances of an infant do not exactly enliven the mind unless, and I'm guessing here, your genetic material was used in its manufacture. Then it's all diverting stuff. Look, I love the arrival of a baby but a soliloquy from a new parent about an infant's burping habits? I can only remain in the room if I'm incapacitated, and even so, I still be clutching my head and screaming.
i would chop off an arm
On re-hash Wednesday we nostalgically re-visit a card from days of yore. This was published on April 13, 2008, back when Wrongcards was a weekend project that I ran to stress-test the patience of Harvard's Department of Human Resources. BTW I told them that, there being only 20 million Australians, I was therefore a minority. 'You can't fire minorities', I said. Logic is my superpower.
concessions to romance
Like a few dozen other men I have a bit of a romantic streak. Sometimes I buy myself lilies or I light scented candles and take long baths. Or I put on some hip-hop and have a bit of a cry for no reason at all. I'll get annoyed at my lady and not tell her why and just wash up loudly. Or not talk to her because of something she did in one of my dreams. Othertimes - I just make a wrongcard.