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Concerned Ecards
everything is fine
I find people very demanding. 'Do this, do that, be quiet, don't eat my pudding, put down that knife, tie it off with a tourniquet, drive me to a hospital, what do you mean we're stopping to buy ice cream?' Today's card? Send it to anyone and they'll probably just GIVE you their pudding. It's only reasonable, really.
rational depression
Today's card is my way of helping people overcome depression. However, you should all understand that I can't do too good a job on Cheer Up Cards because pharmaceuticals companies will try to sue me for loss of income. So I hope you all have a *mostly* happy Tuesday.
little bit irritable
Occasionally I don't get my own way. So I lock myself in a bathroom and have a good cry while my friends sit outside and compliment me for a few hours through the door. Actually that is not what happens. Instead I have to pretend to be sorry and issue cards like these to my friends. Adult life is bitterly unfair.
choice
Today's card is a Missing You Wrongcard. And I believe that it would probably be endorsed by the American Psychiatric Association but I can't get through to them again this morning - they keep changing their phone number.
yap yap yap
These days, on an almost daily basis, I find myself needing to apologize to someone. Sometimes I even need to apologize sincerely. When that happens, I make a wrongcard. Then I ask myself 'what have I got to apologize for?' and, instead of sending it, I eat a muffin. It's a pretty good system really.
occasional improprieties
Today is re-hash Wednesday, so I get to post an older card that I happen to like. This one has a picture of a duck. It also promotes empathy, which I read is one of the great themes of art and literature. Empathy, a heightened sensibility to the rich tapestry that is the human experience, and ducks. It's all there, see.
cake
I'm a good boy: I visit Mother once every three years whether I want to or not, though I tend not to call her on Mothers Day in case she starts to get uppish. I'm a firm believer in doing nice things for Mother so I will probably remember to send her this card this year.
retrospect
Someone told me I was obliged to create Easter cards this week so I had to reply that, because I have problems with authority, I tend to ignore advice. Then I needed an apology card and here it is. In other news, I can't believe it's already Tuesday. It's like Monday was only yesterday.
experimenting
Sometimes I look upon the sprawling glory that is Wrongcards and see that it is good. And other times - today, for instance - I'm fairly sure that I'm going to hell.
nuanced views
I never argue with people unless I think they're wrong about something. But I generally feel that any action which may result in having to dig six-foot holes in the backyard at 2am isn't ultimately worth it. Anyway, I made you all this apology card. This is the part where you feel grateful. Oh stop it, it's nothing.