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Home Ecards

Celebration Concerned Dark Humor Family Holiday Jewish Just Because Love
Mother's Day Ecard with text: Thank you for not sending me down a river in a basket made from reeds so that I might be found by a Childless Queen and raised in that strange, distant realm to be a great and terrible leader of men.

childless queen

I'm not allowed to celebrate Mother's Day with Mother, so each year I make a life-sized doll, you see, and I sit with her at the table and we make tea and I bring her favorite cigarettes and liquorice. When it is over I take her outside and set her on fire. Without traditions we would all be lost.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day Ecard with text: I'll bet Mother's Day at King Oedipus' house could get awkward.

even oedipus

With Mother's Day looming I thought it best that we all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Fate did not turn our life arcs into some kind of sick cosmic joke. Of course, I hope I'm not being presumptuous here.

Mother's Day

Apology Ecard with text: I will forgive you for not making me a better person if you make cake.

cake

I'm a good boy: I visit Mother once every three years whether I want to or not, though I tend not to call her on Mothers Day in case she starts to get uppish. I'm a firm believer in doing nice things for Mother so I will probably remember to send her this card this year.

Apology

WTF Ecard with text: Not long after I became a werewolf people stopped being able to detect when I was exaggerating.

werewolves exaggerate

The cards in the WTF category are so specific that the the likelihood of finding one that is useful is very small. Today's card, for example, is useful if you happen to be a mildly frustrated werewolf. But if you should ever become a mildly frustrated werewolf one day, you'll thank me. Thats why I do this.

WTF

Apology Ecard with text: One day you're just going to have to accept that I'm right about most things, especially in retrospect.

retrospect

Someone told me I was obliged to create Easter cards this week so I had to reply that, because I have problems with authority, I tend to ignore advice. Then I needed an apology card and here it is. In other news, I can't believe it's already Tuesday. It's like Monday was only yesterday.

Apology

Apology Ecard with text: I'm sorry I wrecked your electric toothbrush but I was overtaken by a moment of curiosity.

experimenting

Sometimes I look upon the sprawling glory that is Wrongcards and see that it is good. And other times - today, for instance - I'm fairly sure that I'm going to hell.

Apology

Easter Greetings Ecard with text: At Easter it is considered traditional to receive spiritual guidance from celibate men in frocks who like to be lenient about men who sleep with children.

frocked up

I hope it's not too soon to post this. I like Easter because it is all a relatively safe topic and I generally run much less risk of accidentally saying something controversial. Happy Thursday everyone!

Easter Greetings

Baby Ecard with text: In fairness to myself, the only reason I don't want to hear all about your pregnancy is because I think the process is icky.

fairness to myself

Today's card is for those who talk frankly about their pregnancies. Or rather, today's card is not for those people. Remember: one of the dangers of Wrongcards is that when you send them to others you run the risk of making yourself understood. I hope this message finds you fine and well.

Baby

TGIF Ecard with text: Thank God it's Friday and nobody in Senior Management was brutally stabbed to death with a pen due to an unfortunate misunderstanding.

stabby

One day, when someone finally hires me to work in senior management, I'm going to have to quietly make this wrongcard disappear. And if you're thinking, 'Kris you are not cut out for senior management', my response to you is that 'neither is anyone I have actually met who works in senior management, so there.' Happy Friday.

TGIF

Family Ecard with text: I think that if you had been an only child, you would have become lonely and tried to imagine me. And that would have become dangerous because if your imagination had summoned me, I would have wound up becoming our parents favorite again.

favoritism

A Family Card today that touches on the subject of sibling rivalry, with apologies to the 'only child's among us. And apologies as well to orphans and people who burned their families' house down, because they probably find cards mentioning siblings somewhat tactless. You see how it's hard to please everybody.

Family

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