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Home Ecards
little bit irritable
Occasionally I don't get my own way. So I lock myself in a bathroom and have a good cry while my friends sit outside and compliment me for a few hours through the door. Actually that is not what happens. Instead I have to pretend to be sorry and issue cards like these to my friends. Adult life is bitterly unfair.
implausibility
Are you worried about zombie attacks? I'm not, I'm worried about other things. I picked up a TV guide recently, just to see what reality shows were popular. But don't worry, I was feeling much better after a few days and I can even go outside again.
sometimes
I'm going to go and pass out in a moment and my consciousness will disappear for roughly six hours but when I awaken, fresh and thirsting for vengeance against the Vicissitudes of Fate, I will go down to the local Starbucks and speak this card's caption to the first stranger that I see. That is how I fix the world.
commonality
Look over your shoulder - is somebody there? If not, quietly click on the link and look upon the Wrongcard that you won't be sending your Dad for Father's Day. Then - close the window and try not to think about it too much.
choice
Today's card is a Missing You Wrongcard. And I believe that it would probably be endorsed by the American Psychiatric Association but I can't get through to them again this morning - they keep changing their phone number.
new birthday tradition
Birthday Card: This card is an attempt to inspire a new, less selfish, Birthday tradition. It is, however, a slightly NSFW sentiment.
agitated
After I realized that I had mastered Workplace Behavior, Norms and Etiquette, I realized it would be selfish of me not to share my knowledge with others. So I started to encode subtle Workplace Survival Tips into certain cards - today's card, for example. There's no need to thank me ... I do it for the glory.
yap yap yap
These days, on an almost daily basis, I find myself needing to apologize to someone. Sometimes I even need to apologize sincerely. When that happens, I make a wrongcard. Then I ask myself 'what have I got to apologize for?' and, instead of sending it, I eat a muffin. It's a pretty good system really.
not getting angry
What people sometimes call 'anger management issues' I prefer to describe as 'an impaired ability to cope with fools and idiots'. Of course, I'm not one to promote bad-tempered irrationality (I'm no Bill O'Reilly) but we're all entitled to our moments, and a deficit of sleep might make this card seem useful.
occasional improprieties
Today is re-hash Wednesday, so I get to post an older card that I happen to like. This one has a picture of a duck. It also promotes empathy, which I read is one of the great themes of art and literature. Empathy, a heightened sensibility to the rich tapestry that is the human experience, and ducks. It's all there, see.