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Home Ecards
insufficient
Birthdays are a chore, especially if you're like me and celebrate your Birthday every couple of months with a different group of friends. I find there's safety in numbers. Of identities.
inflatable pony
Romance is dead, they said - but I found out where they buried it. Now it's safely hidden under my bed. Don't worry, it only smells when I get it damp.
molotov cocktails
Never play with fire, they say, but that's no way to win at monopoly. I've started three fires during games of monopoly and went on to win each game. I think of fire as the God of Winning.
terrible
My New Year's resolution was to retire from public life utterly. Then Shia Labeouf decided that this was a good idea to borrow, so that's another of my resolutions that have come to naught. In other news, my resolution to live on better terms with my pet wasp is still intact. Horace and I are committed to putting our differences aside this year
gift lizard
Look, it's silly really. I promised a friend he could draw all the remaining Christmas cards of 2013. Alcohol may have been a factor. Anyway, look it's not the point - it's just that he's gone off the reservation. This week at Wrongcards we are learning about the importance of a carefully worded contract. Are napkins really admissible in court?
sad santa
I watch Fox News so I know all about the plot against Christmas. That's right: conspirators are subverting people's belief in Santa. As a small business owner, and a believer in Santa Claus (I even saw him in a shopping mall once), I make this pledge: For every 1000 boxes of Wrongcards you buy I will send you a Fox News coffee mug (possibly chipped). Christmas saved, kids.
bearded man
Just because you don't understand what's going on doesn't mean you're confused. Look at me - I own a greeting card company (for admittedly 'troubled people') and I've never purchased or sent a greeting card in my life. Look at Christmas. Makes no sense to me but people invite me to their houses to give me pudding. I don't say anything about Christmas, of course. I just focus on the pudding.
disrespected
The holidays are almost upon us. And you know who, apart from Santa and serial killers, are going around visiting people? In-laws. In-laws are a practical joke that fate likes to play on married people, which is why I decided to create a new category of cards about them. If you're expecting the Unspeakables this year, this first in-law card is for you. Happy holidays you crazy cats...
fear of failure
'I no longer work in an office environment: people couldn't handle my realness. It's a pity because I really enjoyed it, especially 'Mysterious Fire Mondays.' I miss the middle-management types, mostly. I miss seeing the good-natured fear in their eyes whenever I visited their houses late at night to remind them that 'everybody sleeps sometime'.