If you think ecards and greeting cards are - at best - insipid, mass-produced tokens of insincere sentiment, then I like you. And also, welcome to Wrongcards.
I'm a good boy: I visit Mother once every three years whether I want to or not, though I tend not to call her on Mothers Day in case she starts to get uppish. I'm a firm believer in doing nice things for Mother so I will probably remember to send her this card this year.
The cards in the WTF category are so specific that the the likelihood of finding one that is useful is very small. Today's card, for example, is useful if you happen to be a mildly frustrated werewolf. But if you should ever become a mildly frustrated werewolf one day, you'll thank me. Thats why I do this.
Someone told me I was obliged to create Easter cards this week so I had to reply that, because I have problems with authority, I tend to ignore advice. Then I needed an apology card and here it is. In other news, I can't believe it's already Tuesday. It's like Monday was only yesterday.
Sometimes I look upon the sprawling glory that is Wrongcards and see that it is good. And other times - today, for instance - I'm fairly sure that I'm going to hell.
I hope it's not too soon to post this. I like Easter because it is all a relatively safe topic and I generally run much less risk of accidentally saying something controversial. Happy Thursday everyone!
Today's card is for those who talk frankly about their pregnancies. Or rather, today's card is not for those people. Remember: one of the dangers of Wrongcards is that when you send them to others you run the risk of making yourself understood. I hope this message finds you fine and well.
One day, when someone finally hires me to work in senior management, I'm going to have to quietly make this wrongcard disappear. And if you're thinking, 'Kris you are not cut out for senior management', my response to you is that 'neither is anyone I have actually met who works in senior management, so there.' Happy Friday.
A Family Card today that touches on the subject of sibling rivalry, with apologies to the 'only child's among us. And apologies as well to orphans and people who burned their families' house down, because they probably find cards mentioning siblings somewhat tactless. You see how it's hard to please everybody.
The week is winding down and you survived. Yes, you survived the strange and the unexpected. And, celebrating this triumph, today's wrongcard reminds us all to remain ever vigilant. Remember, if you stay paranoid, you'll stay alive. For a while anyway. Happy Friday to you all!
I'm in Boston and that means I'm obliged to get falling-down-drunk with friends on St Patrick's Day. Ireland's nationalist movement needs a good, alcoholic kick once a year, and if I have to wake up in a pool of someone else's vomit, so be it. I'll do anything for a good cause. Oh, today's card? Sorry Irish people.
Everyone should have a mission statement. If you don't have one yet my advice is to write one that would make your Human Resources department panic. You should listen to me because the laws that govern probability suggest that I'll be right about everything at least part of the time. And today I'm feeling lucky.
You can send today's card to new parents. Or rather - you shouldn't. New parents can be awfully prickly and humorless - after all, they've just crushed their dreams. But then again, maybe you should. I think the decision really boils down to whether or not you like their cooking. Once again, I'm here to help.